Relationships – where do we go wrong?

If we look to nature, it teaches us the power and necessity of connection and relationship. We see this in the duality that exists all around us. Day and Night. Masculine and Feminine. Life and Death. Inhale and Exhale. Either cannot exist without the other.

Let us stop for a practical exercise:
Breathe in deeply and hold it for 30 seconds. Do you feel the need to breathe out eventually?

Now take a breath in and then a full breath out – holding your out breath or exhale for 30 seconds. Do you feel a need to breathe in and get some air?
Both play a pivotal role – one no more important than the other. The connection of both is required to sustain life and equilibrium.

As I research the topic of relationships – three main themes keep arising:

1) The ability to hold both – The good with the bad – The bad with the good. Realizing we can only recognize the good because we know the bad and vice versa. Thus, in accepting the ebb and flow of the connection as vital, we can then honour the experiences in our relationships – good or bad – as they are and as a necessity;

2) Ownership – the importance of taking ownership of our own participation in the dysfunction of the relationship. It is easier to point at the other, however it is important to ask – how do I perpetuate the paradigm?;

3) Our relationship difficulties are not what cause us destruction – but it is rather a symbol or sign of an already shattered world inside of us. Often, a negative emotion, discomfort or thought is a sign that we are avoiding our responsibility for ourselves. It is a push to build a relationship and connection, with self.