Am I OK?

Dear reader and fellow human,

As I sit down to access the gift of space and stillness, I recognize time has moved and I have been continuously chasing after it – choking on the dust it leaves behind in its trail. I am reminded of the paradox of time: we are all subject to it and yet it only exists in the NOW. Time makes itself evident in a rotting apple, seeing how our parents have aged – accept it is all noticed in the now – in this moment.

As we pause together in this NOW moment – as we recognize half the year has passed – let us do a Mental Health Check.

We are often more focused on how others are doing around us and are encouraged to focus outwardly. While this is supportive – it is important to also reach in. The USA today wrote a helpful article (2021 May, 02) that encouraged readers to regularly do their own mental health checks and outlined the following helpful steps to follow:

• Find someplace quiet

We cannot connect to ourselves when we are distracted or multi-tasking. Schedule some quiet time to do this and listen.

• Start with the big picture question

A measure mental health professionals utilise to assess mental health difficulties is to measure an individual’s level of functioning in daily life. Ask yourself if you are able to fulfill the roles you play as a mom, spouse, son etc. If you are struggling in domains that you previously weren’t, this may be a sign that things are off track.

• Look at your feelings and behaviours

Another measure is to assess how your mood and behaviour’s have changed. For example: do you still find joy in things that used to bring you joy? Are you avoiding people? Are you more irritable or snappy? Are you seeing or expecting the worst in situations? Overall – it is looking at how your behaviour and feelings have changed from a previous level of functioning that felt more optimal.

An important note here is that everyone has these feelings or has a down day or few. However if these changes are more persistent past a 2 week period then it may be time to seek support.

• Look at your body

Our bodies talk to us (sometimes scream at us) when our brains are not well. Assess how your body feels and what changes exist. How are you sleeping? Are you feeling a lot of tension or stiffness in your body? Are you grinding your teeth?

In doing my own mental health check this month, despite having a plethora of resources and information regarding mental health – I recognized that I was inextricably human and exposed to all the harsh and beautiful realities of this existence. Allowing myself to 1) make space for my emotions (observe and name them; 2) to have honest conversations with these emotions and why they were there; 3) and to ask myself what I needed – provided me with a paved pathway toward a healthy response and measured action I could take to be in charge of my mental space.

Self-awareness is the ability to assess one’s own emotions and understand the impact they can have. Through self-awareness one can identify their own strengths and areas to improve. This alone can encourage somebody with mental health issues to appreciate their current position. Self-awareness is a core component of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is defined as the ability to monitor feelings and emotions (your own and the emotions of others), to provide objective judgement, and to use this information as a guide for your thinking and actions (Salovey & Mayer, 1990). Some experts believe that emotional intelligence is the key to success for personal relationships, professional relationships, and the relationship you have with yourself (Goleman, 2006; Zinn, 2003).

The concept of EQ was popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1995 publication Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Goleman described emotional intelligence as having five parts:

• Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s moods and emotions and their effect on others.
• Self-regulation: Using emotional knowledge to prevent moods or emotions from causing impulsive behavior.
• Internal motivation: Taking action or making decisions as a result of an inner drive (rather than for immediate rewards such as monetary gain).
• Empathy: Understanding the emotions of others and using this knowledge to respond to people based on their emotional state.
• Social skills: Using one’s emotional intelligence to establish strong relationships and facilitate interactions with peers.